I have a problem spending money — and it’s not what you think

I have a problem spending my money, even on essentials and necessities.

I grew up dirt poor and my parents didn’t have much. We filed for bankruptcy for God’s sake.

I wanted to take gymnastics and martial arts classes but my parents didn’t have money for that. People said it was only $100 per month but my parents didn’t have $100 to spare each month.

But I would say I grew up OK. I had three meals per day, a roof above my head and parents who loved. I also graduated from college, working in corporate america with a decent job and bought my own house. I’m fully independent but I have this issue where it pains me to spend my hard work earned income to improve and simplify my lifestyle.

1. It’s difficult to get rid of the scarcity mindset. The fear that I will run out of money and the fear that I will become dirt poor once again.

2. Frugality has been instilled with me since young. I didn’t go on ice cream runs after school and I didn’t participate in any book fairs or fundraisers.

3. Saving is second nature. If I’m not spending money on my mortgage or 401K, it immediately goes to a high yield savings account.

The stuff I really don’t spend on are:

Food — I would much rather starve or eat cucumbers than go out to a restaurant and buy food. Most people are scared of showing up at a restaurant eating alone. I’m more scared of spending my money at a restaurant because I won’t have enough for retirement when I’m older, travels when I decide I want to go on in the nearby future…